Dear “The Man” and “The Best of Us All”,

image from Red Bubble, quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky 

I know you guys don’t read this blog (it might have to do with the fact that I haven’t given you its address), but this is what I think and feel every time a “one beer and then we’re off” moment turns into bonding conversations that could last the whole night.

Now it’s for real (as if it wasn’t before…)

It’s difficult to update a blog with a broken laptop

And also with a traineeship which has as its informal motto (just decided this now) “no rest for the wicked”.

But I thought I’d update you guys with bits and bobs of yesterday:

– Attended a session promoted by ALDE MEPs about EU citizenship on the European Parliament;
– Realised I was the only guest attendant there… meaning the burden of Q&A would fall on my shy, terrified-of-speaking-in-public person;
-Asked a bunch of questions with no fear or shyness whatsoever. The speakers came to me at the end of the session to congratulate me on said questions;
– The main MEP organiser and his assistant invited me for lunch at the EP restaurant with them and the other speakers. The assistant wants to keep in touch;
– Realised I have more fun at the office than on Plenary Session days;
– Got beaten with a passion on our boardgame night by two of my fellow trainees, who are way more than trainees – they are true FRIENDS. Victory shall be mine next time… when we actually play games that involve a board!
– Really woke up at 5am (I checked the time) with my friend’s flatmate doing the dishes, thus sorta witnessing a self-fulfilling prophecy…

I really need suggestions…

…for things to do when one has a (very) slow day at work.

The Man and The Ugly Last Resort

During a conversation with a male friend, about the level of idiocy and shallowness that currently goes around us:

“It is vexing and I am so gutted to say this out loud, but for those guys, you girls count way less than the Prom Queen of this group. And that’s… that’s so incredibly stupid, because the five of you are the ones that are worth it”.

“These kind of guys are about quantity, not quality. To their eyes, as much as girls like us are ugly, unworthy and a measure of last resort, you still hang out with five of us, and that makes you The Man. (…) No matter what, at the end of the day, for them we’re still walking vaginas. In their mind, girls like us will still be good for a fuck if they fail to go home with the Prom Queens of this world”.

I am in a very happy relationship with my boyfriend, whom I love and who loves me back. I am old enough to have had my share of jackasses and know which kind of guys – and people in general – are worth it and which ones aren’t. I certainly don’t need the approval or anything whatsoever of people with twisted, childish worldviews. The idea of people who see others as a piece of meat disgusts me. I keep the people that are worth keeping, the true friends – and ignore the rest. I like the way I look right now (minus that couple of kgs I’m always trying to lose), and I believe I have grown into a woman who has her own particular beauty.

My friend was gutted when he said that sentence out loud, because it couldn’t be further from what he believes and thinks and values. I told him it was fine because I didn’t care about those people and their opinions. But for a moment, all those horrible memories from my teenage years flashed before my eyes.

“Have you seen how tacky she looks?” – first day of high school, in this public yet astonishingly elitist and preppy school. I was wearing jeans, a Hard Rock t-shirt and red and white Adidas sneakers. Normal as normal could be.

“Your voice sounds like a man’s voice.”

“Your taste is so horrible. What a nerdy loser”.

“Look at your teeth, you monster!”.

“Your hairstyle is so not posh and stylish. Let us fix it. Why are you crying? Such a stupid loser…ahahahahah”.

“Shut up, you bitch. Go hide with your homo friend who wears mascara and shows his pubes online! I’ll break your fucking face!” – in the middle of an 11h grade Maths class, while the teacher was still inside the room, because I was friends with the only openly gay guy in the whole school.

“Why aren’t you more like your friends? They’re beautiful and nicer to us”.

“Geez, that one would still be horrible if you’d put a bag on her head…”

“You only have good grades because your cousin’s class has tests before us and she tells you all the questions!” – half of my class, after a test in which I got a 19/20 and half of them failed. I never needed to ask a single thing to my cousin. Ever.

“Looking like this you will never get any boys. Look at your hair, your body, your face with no make-up at all!”

There we were, with deadlocked eyes during a serious, meaningful and earnest conversation. Two promising and hopefully successful grown-ups who, despite their maturity, are still regarded in the eyes of other (idiot, shallow and childish) people as The Man and The Ugly Last Resort. Never mind friendship, like-mindedness and trust, the ultimate reasons for my friend to hang out with me and the other 4 girls we were talking about. Never mind personality, humour, respect, kindness and intelligence, the reason why human beings should be attracted to and value in one another.

I’m 25 and it’s still sad to realise you never really leave high school.

So that my 2,5 readers don’t think I’ve abandoned the blog

Don’t worry. It’s just that I have almost no free time at all between 8h of work a day and weekends filled with French classes and household tasks.

I am loving every single minute and moment of my traineeship, though 🙂

Sunday song

Florence + The Machine – Rabbit Heart (Raise it up)

People who should be banned from public laundromats

– People who can’t do their laundry without shouting at their friend/significant other during the whole freaking process.

– People who let their kid play with the token machine (pushing buttons and jamming the bill slot with a voucher paper) despite it being fixed literally 10 mins before by the maintenance personnel.

– People who decide to berate you and interfere in the way you do your laundry, as if you also didn’t have to wait for other people to be done before you.

Saturday afternoons at the local laundromat really make me yearn for the day we can get our own washing machine at our place…

Life update in bullet points and Sunday Song

– When one wakes up at 06h15 every morning and comes back home some time between 19h00 and 20h00, it is quite difficult to find the energy to open the laptop and write on the blog. That might have something to do with the fact that I spend most of my work day in front of a computer.

– The traineeship couldn’t be going better – nice team, nice fellow trainees, awesome venue and you know you traineeship is worth something when they give you important tasks that actually *need to be done* instead of the stereotypical coffee and trips to the Zerox machine.

– I have had my first press release publish and sent to journalists and media. Woohoo!

– I might be addicted to coffee by the end of this traineeship, which is a shame because I do not have any vices. But there is no other way (see bullet point #1).

– Giving up your Saturday morning to attend French classes is the very definition of “commitment”. Especially when the last time you studied French was 5 years ago, and as a consequence you understand everything you hear and read but you can’t answer back because you forgot how to form a freaking sentence.

– I cooked Chateaubriand with a special sauce that quite resembles Café de Paris sauce, my boyfriend couldn’t put his fork down (and neither could I) and I am extremely proud of myself right now.

– I can’t believe two weeks of office life brought back the kgs I lost while in London 😦

– I am extremely tired, but extremely happy (minus the extra weight) 🙂

Fleetwood Mac – Don’t Stop

My EU traineeship starts in 3 days…

…and I am the walking definition of nervous.